tools and resources
If you attended the workshop, you have access to this (password protected) slide deck.
Do The Work Toolkit
DO THE WORK is a practical, beginner-friendly toolkit for people exploring non-monogamy and polyamory — or anyone wanting to approach relationships with more intention, honesty, and care.
Inside it, you’ll find six tools and worksheets designed to help you slow down, reflect, and have better conversations. These are not rules or formulas to follow perfectly. They’re frameworks to support clearer communication, stronger boundaries, informed consent, and emotional resilience as your relationships evolve.
This toolkit brings together well-known relationship tools alongside original reflections, all adapted for real-life use. You can work through it on your own, with a partner (or partners), or return to different sections as things shift over time.
DO THE WORK isn’t about doing relationships “right.” It’s about doing them with intention, with yourself, and with the people you care about.
1. The Relationship Menu (Non-Escalator Relationship Menu) - pg. 3-5 (Free Worksheet above)
2. The RADAR Check-In Model - pg. 6-9 (Free Worksheet above)
3. Jealousy First Aid Kit - pg. 10-13
4. Sexual Health Toolkit - pg. 14-18
5. Disclosure & Outness Decision Tree - pg. 19-24
6. Attachment Styles in Relationships - pg. 25-28
#3 Tool in the DO THE WORK Toolkit - (complete kit $40 purchase)
This tool and it’s accompanied worksheets are designed to help you pause, regulate, and understand what’s actually happening, so jealousy doesn’t drive reactive communication or self-abandonment. Like first aid, this tool is for early intervention, not deep surgery.
Use this tool when
You feel activated, spiraling, or emotionally flooded
You want to reach out to a partner but aren’t sure what you need yet
Something small feels disproportionately big
You want to respond rather than react
#5 Tool in the DO THE WORK Toolkit - (complete kit $40 purchase)
This extensive tool and it’s worksheets help you in choosing when, how, and with whom to share.
It asks tough questions and requires you to do a lot of deep thinking. It helps you pause, ask meaningful questions, and choose which branches are safe to grow right now, and which ones might need more time, care, or distance.
#4 Tool in the DO THE WORK Toolkit - (complete kit $40 purchase)
This Toolkit comes with a comprehensive checklist, agreement template, and scripts that help you understand your own sexual health practices, boundaries, and risk tolerance before discussing them with others. This tool is to provide clarity, accountability, and responsibility.
Part 1: Sexual Health Checklist A personal readiness & awareness tool
Part 2: Safer Sex Agreement A shared, revisitable understanding
Part 3: How to Have the Conversation (Scripts & Best Practices)
#6 Tool in the DO THE WORK Toolkit - (complete kit $40 purchase)
This worksheet and companion quiz is not about labeling yourself or others as “good” or “bad.” It’s about understanding patterns, increasing self-awareness, and building relationships that support security over time.
In the quiz you will answer 18 questions that get you closer to understanding your attachment style. This is a starting point, and not a prescription. Deeper exploration is needed to understand how you show up for yourself in relationships within your attachment.
DO THE WORK is a guided relationship toolkit for exploring non-monogamy with intention or elevating your existing tools in monogamy. Through practical exercises and communication tools, it helps individuals and partners build consent-forward relationships rooted in honesty, boundaries, and care.
Do The Work (Physical Copy)
$50 (+shipping)
Get a physical copy!
Please complete the form below and I will email you to arrange payment and a copy be delivered.
Coming Spring 2026!
Not your average conversation card deck.
KaBOOM! Do the Work Cards are built to crack things open… gently or explosively (your choice). From light, playful prompts to deeper, edge-pushing questions, each card invites you to get real about your relationships, desires, boundaries, and emotional world.
Perfect for solo reflection or shared conversations, this deck helps you start conversations, go deeper, find alignment in how you want to design your relationships, and explore things you might not have thought of yet.